Posts Tagged ‘sexuality’

How To Handle The “Other Guy”, Part 1

by Joseph Matthews

Competition from other men is often a crippling issue in their attempts to gain a woman’s attention.

Let’s face it - if the girl is somewhat attractive, chances are that you’re not the only guy striving for her affections.

And the reality is - some guys just can’t HANDLE the idea of competition!

As soon as they see another guy talking to the girl they like, if he’s in any way better looking than they are, they’ll just GIVE UP.

Seriously. They will step aside and give the other guy all the time he needs to move in on their girl.

Either that, or the guy will get really jealous and insecure, and directly challenge the competition.

That’s far worse because it shows the girl exactly how insecure you are.

So what’s a guy to do?

Well, the first thing is to realize that there is NO SUCH THING as competition from other men.

This might sound strange to you, but hear me out…

You guys aren’t in a race for a gold metal here. When it comes to affections of the heart, there are no true winners. It is possible for a girl to be attracted to more than one man at the same time.

So in that sense, even if a new guy shows up, you’re not completely out in the cold.

Even so, you will NEED to keep some of the focus on you so you can create attraction.

In part two of this article, I’ll show you how to come out on top in this situation.

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How Setting Goals Can Help You Pick Up Girls

by Joseph Matthews

If it’s your desire to become a pickup artist, then you should probably ignore the archetype propagated by the entertainment industry. You don’t have to be a sleaze or a clown to attract a pretty girl.

In actuality, you can attract a beautiful woman with a bit of preparation. It’s not as hard as you might think, and it’s fun.

You can never really know when a pickup is going to go well, but there are ways you can prepare. So here are some steps for success BEFORE you go out picking up women!

When you go to a place where you know there will be attractive women, make the decision that you’re actually going to pick them up!

Too often, guys will go out with no real goal in mind. And guess what? When you have no outcome in mind - you’ll usually end up with NOTHING.

But if you go out with a specific goal, your chances of achieving that goal go up DRAMATICALLY.

It doesn’t matter if it’s as simple as “Talk To One Woman Tonight,” or as ambitious as “Find The Woman Of Your Dreams.”

As long as you have a goal, your chances of picking up a girl will increase substantially.

You don’t even have to be GOING OUT to pick up women. Maybe you’re visiting a food court in mid-afternoon because you’re feeling hungry, and you know you’ll spot at least one attractive woman there who you could see later.

You may or may not succeed in your quest, but you’re much more likely to have a positive outcome if you go with the mindset that you can pull off a successful pickup.

Always take a pen and paper, or at least your cell phone, wherever you go. You’ll need it for when you exchange numbers with women. Be sure to keep a condom with you, too, just in case! Knowing that you have protection on hand is just one more thing that will keep you from chickening out.

Remember: Do Not Give Yourself An Excuse NOT To Pick Up Women!

If you give yourself more reasons to NOT do something, it will, in fact become more difficult to do.

Let’s face it - you’ve been making excuses not to pick up women every day. How has that been working for you?

Probably not.

Listen: Picking up women successfully is about being mentally prepared to engage someone socially.

If you are thinking about all the things that CAN go wrong, if you’re obsessing over everything about yourself that ISN’T attractive, if you’re looking for excuses NOT to try and pick up the girl…

Guess what?

Chances are - YOU’RE NOT GOING TO PICK HER UP!

That is why you simply need to mentally prepare yourself for the pickup. NO EXCUSES!

Visualize a positive outcome. Focus on all you have to offer a girl. Be fun, friendly, and open. But most importantly - TALK TO HER!

Don’t let the opportunity pass you by. Even if you have a “bad feeling” or are nervous, just think of it as a “practice run” to help get you warmed up.

Know your environment. When you meet a girl you like, you’ll want to get together with her soon - preferably the same day, while her attraction for you is still high. Be aware of good places nearby where you can “bounce” to, like bars, coffee houses, lounges, art galleries, or other fun place where you and your “target” can have a change of scenery.

You’ll want to go to a place that’s low-key enough so you can get to know each other better. When you bounce from one location to another, it’s like you’re going on another date. Why wait for another week to pass by to take her on another date so you can build comfort with her, when you know you can do it on the same day?

Have a place in mind where you can become intimate with her. If you live nearby and you can bring her home, so much the better.

Have an excuse to take her home that has nothing to do with lovemaking. You can have a DVD that she’s never seen but has to see, or an exotic drink she’s never tried, or some photos you’ve taken of a place where you’ve been that she’s never seen.

Or you can play her a song that you’ve written. It doesn’t matter, as long as it makes her comfortable enough to come over!

All in all, you need to TAKE ACTION! If you are prepared for success, you can make it happen easier. So stop with the excuses, and go get her!

About the Author:

How To Accommodate The “Other Guy”, Part 2

by Joseph Matthews

In part one I explained how interactions with other men usually happens, and how most men deal with it poorly.

What’s the right course of action then?

The key to dealing with other men moving in on your girl is LEADERSHIP. The ability to take control of the situation in a way that is not overbearing, needy, or insecure.

Doing things as simple as…

*Befriending the guy

*Taking control of the conversation

*Being more interesting than the guy

*Make her laugh

The key to all of this is that you want to take CONTROL of the interaction. From there you can direct it.

A woman will respond to you if you are the one who is in control.

So even if your “competition” is better looking, younger, richer, (or whatever) than you - it doesn’t matter! Because in the end, YOU’RE the one the girl will follow.

Keep in mind that the ability to build your social status, to help others have a good time, to be more fun, funny, and interesting than the next guy - these are all aspects of control.

These facets of your personality will give you the power to lead the social dynamic of any group you choose.

And when YOU are the leader, guess what?

THERE IS NO COMPETITION.

Every other guy around you is a follower. And girls, instinctually, are drawn to guys who are in charge.

About the Author:

Dealing With Rejection, Part 1

by Joseph Matthews

If there’s one thing every single guy on the face of the planet has experienced at one time or another,it’s rejection.

Who hasn’t fallen for a girl, only to find out that she doesn’t feel the same way about you?

Indeed, rejection can be extremely painful to experience. It’s almost as if every time a girl gives you the brush off, she’s saying there’s something wrong with you!

And let’s face it - nobody likes to feel like they aren’t good enough.

Most men handle this in ways that only worsen the situation.

Normally they’ll run from it, or get angry over it.

When facing rejection, a common strategy, which is probably the WORST thing you can do, is this: go along with whatever she feels and deceive her into thinking you aren’t interested.

This usually leads to the “just being her friend” gambit, where the lovelorn man pretends to be the girl’s friend, just so he can somehow try and desperately salvage the situation.

But as we all know, this trick rarely, if ever, works.

So what are your options? Well, you could just walk away and look for a girl who is more open to you. Or, you can try and turn that rejection into attraction.

So say you don’t want to just walk away. Be ready for some hard work on your part.

We’ll get into this in part two.

About the Author:

Dealing With Male Competition, Part 1

by Joseph Matthews

One of the most challenging aspects of getting a girl interested in you is dealing with the competition you’ll get from other guys.

And it’s going to happen if she’s attractive. Other guys WILL be interested.

And the reality is - some guys just can’t HANDLE the idea of competition!

As soon as they see another guy talking to the girl they like, if he’s in any way better looking than they are, they’ll just GIVE UP.

Seriously. They will step aside and give the other guy all the time he needs to move in on their girl.

Either that, or the guy will get really jealous and insecure, and directly challenge the competition.

That’s far worse because it shows the girl exactly how insecure you are.

So what’s a guy to do?

Well, the first thing is to realize that there is NO SUCH THING as competition from other men.

This might sound strange to you, but hear me out…

You guys aren’t in a race for a gold metal here. When it comes to affections of the heart, there are no true winners. It is possible for a girl to be attracted to more than one man at the same time.

So in that sense, even if a new guy shows up, you’re not completely out in the cold.

Still, you’ll want to attempt to keep her focus on you so you can create attraction.

I’ll show you how to come out on top in this situation in part two of this article.

About the Author:

How To Date Women Successfully, Part 1

by Joseph Matthews

Generally, when someone says “dating”, that translates into “dinner and a movie.” Seems about right huh?

It’s a simple process - you go out and do things with her, to get to know her. Right?

Well, what if I told you that you had the completely WRONG idea about dating?

See, most guys use the concept of “going out” with a girl to mean that there is some romantic ulterior motive there, and that is not always the case.

Let’s go over some of the most common mistakes guys make when “dating” a girl…

Mistake #1: Guys use dates as opportunities to “Impress” women.

Lots of guys think they have something to prove on dates. They “have to get her to like me!” So they’ll try and take her to fancy places to show her a memorable time, and they’ll try and brag about themselves to come off as important.

Mistake #2: Men think they can use money to lure her in.

A sad truth is that a good portion of men today think that if you spend money on a woman, you buy the right to sleep with them. This is never a good way of thinking.

Most women don’t care how much you spend on them, except for the few gold diggers running around out there.

Mistake #3: Activities Mean Nothing!

Just the sheer act of going out to places with somebody doesn’t mean as much as you think it does. If you do the typical “dinner and a movie” thing, that won’t necessarily get the girl to like you. Spending time together does not always equate to romanic interest.

Mistake #4: Guys can become BORING!

Nothing is worse than going out on a date where there is no spark or chemistry. Some guys get so nervous on dates, that they sabotage themselves by being a boring dud. They talk about mundane things, display little or no personality, and just go through the motions hoping not to screw anything up.

Mistake #5: Guys follow a pattern of failure.

Finally, many men get a certain idea about dating in their heads - how things are supposed to be - and they follow that rigidly.

They take every girl they go out with to the same places, ask the same questions, and where does that lead to? A stale date. No spontaneity, no fun. Just boring.

Let’s take a look at a better approach in part two of this article.

About the Author:

Rules For Dating Women, Part 2

by Joseph Matthews

From what I wrote in part one of this article, it’s probably pretty clear how most guys think the wrong way about dating. Let’s look at the right way!

So what does it mean to date a woman?

Simple: Dating is the process of building comfort, strengthening emotional connections, and building attraction!

See, it doesn’t matter where you go, or how much money you spend. All that matters is how you’re able to connect to the woman you’re with and what you can make her feel about you.

That is why so many guys can take a girl on a cheap date and sweep her off her feet, and other guys can drop thousands of dollars on really creative dates and get NOWHERE.

Your entire focus while dating a girl should be “how can I become more emotionally connected to this girl?”

Find out what interests you share. What passions do you have? What are her hopes and dreams? These are the things you need to know.

Refrain from the mundane type of questioning like “what music do you like?” Instead, ask something that will really peak her interest like “If you could do anything you wanted, and weren’t bound by the laws of space and time, what would you do?” That should spur conversation and be thought provoking!

And most of all to do: HAVE SOME FUN!

Crack jokes - even if they’re not good. Have fun. Steer the conversation toward subjects she finds interesting. Be curious about who she is.

But most importantly, don’t shy away from the idea of love making!

Most guys won’t, but they aren’t successful either. And you need to do this to build up some tension, because without it, there is little chance of attraction.

Make jokes about it, and flirt. Show a bit of a bad boy side to you. She’ll appreciate it, and if you don’t, you probably won’t make it to the next level.

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How To Avoid Being “Just Friends”, Part 1

by Joseph Matthews

Quick question - how many times have you fallen for a girl, only to be stuck in the dreaded “friends zone?”

It appears that she’s into you, and you seem to have some solid rapport going. Everything points to her being interested.

But then, when you make your move, she looks surprised and lays the line on you:

“Let’s just be friends.”

From there, you’re confused, frustrated, and most of all - you feel like you somehow blew your shot.

Oddly enough, this happens all the time - even to “good looking” guys.

And most guys have NO IDEA why this happens!

So what causes a girl to want to be “just friends?”

There is a HUGE reason actually. Most men do absolutely nothing to separate themselves from regular guys as to potential lovers.

In short: They lack the ability to “attract” the girl physically.

They play it safe. They never say anything off color. They never flirt. They never try and be anything but “friendly” to the girl.

And then they wonder why they get stuck as the friend.

Understand - from the moment you meet a girl, you must display that you’re interested in her as more than “just friends” .

Read part two - I’ll show you how to do this without spooking her.

About the Author:

Creating Attraction With Girls, Part 1

by Joseph Matthews

I’m sure you’ve felt the utter frustration that comes with attracting the type of woman you like.

I certainly have.

I think we’ve all been in those situations where you admire a girl from afar, and wonder what its going to take to get her to fall in love with you.

(Or at the very least, want to make out with you or something cool like that. =)

I get emails all the time from guys asking me about how they can get their “One Particular Girl” that they like.

They want to know how they can MAKE her attracted to them.

Well, there’s good news, and there’s bad news…

The BAD news is: You can’t ever MAKE someone attracted to you.

I’m sure you are bound to ask: Why not?

Because its impossible to make anyone do anything. They are their own person, with their own thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, etc. They have free will, and if you try and make them do something, chances are slim they will actually do what you want.

So trying to MAKE a girl feel blazing attraction for you is a difficult uphill battle.

But here’s the GOOD news…

You actually CAN be attractive to the woman that strikes your fancy!

(Don’t worry, I will explain it all in part two of this article.)

About the Author:

Creating Attraction With Girls, Part 1

by Joseph Matthews

I’d be willing to guess that you, at some point in time, have been utterly frustrated in your attempts to get the type of woman you like attracted to you.

I certainly have.

I think we’ve all been in those situations where you admire a girl from afar, and wonder what its going to take to get her to fall in love with you.

(Or at the very least, want to make out with you or something cool like that. =)

I get emails all the time from guys asking me about how they can get their “One Particular Girl” that they like.

They want to know how they can MAKE her attracted to them.

Well, there’s good news, and there’s bad news…

The BAD news is: You can’t ever MAKE someone attracted to you.

I’m sure you are bound to ask: Why not?

Because its impossible to make anyone do anything. They are their own person, with their own thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, etc. They have free will, and if you try and make them do something, chances are slim they will actually do what you want.

So trying to MAKE a girl feel blazing attraction for you is a difficult uphill battle.

But here’s the GOOD news…

You actually CAN be attractive to the woman that strikes your fancy!

(Don’t worry, I will explain it all in part two of this article.)

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