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Posts Tagged ‘clubbing’

“So, next time I am going to run into you, I want you to give me the most enthusiastic hug ever - like we have known each forever and we just met again after a very long time! I want the whole program: kissing, hugging, screaming and most importantly going crazy.” “I can see us sitting at the beach, watching the sunset, with a couple of beers and some fruit tomorrow evening. I’ll meet you at 7 in front of that shoe place down the street.” “We should have lunch together. In fact I want you to show me that new movie you got so excited about earlier; I will bring the wine and you can make salad with that awesome dressing you were raving about.”

What you are reading here is what we call foreshadowing. Foreshadowing happens when we talk about a place where we will be or something we will be doing together in the future. All girls have to picture themselves doing something before they will or actually can do it. This is one of the reasons why there are so many novels and romantic stories out there: in general, these books paint very detailed and vivid pictures of a story or fantasy and their characters. Women have a more vivid imagination much more so than men; it is no surprise that the majority of readers of those books are women.

Let me give you an example of a conversation I had the other day while I was out at a local mall. I saw this girl walking on the street and I noticed that there is something different about her, but I could not say what it was. I could not resist and I had to ask: ME “There is something special about you I can’t quite figure out what it is though.” HER “What do you mean?” ME “IDK. There is something there but I want to know what?” HER “I’m not from around here maybe that is what it is?” ME “Can’t tell - you got to give me a bit more than that!” HER “I’m from Austin, TX, just recently moved to L.A. because of my job” ME “No, that’s not it. I’ve met lots of girls from Austin but none of them had that thing going like you - you know, the thing I can’t quite figure out about you yet!” ME “What are you doing later today?” HER “Why? Are you asking me out?” ME “I don’t know if I want to, I’m talking high risk here, I haven’t even figured out yet what is so unique about you, you might be a sex addict or convict - but, I believe that one has to take risks in life, so how about we meet at the xyz bar at 8pm? I love wine and maybe you’ll loosen up a bit and I can uncover your secret.” HER “I don’t know where that is - remember, I’m not from around here!” ME “Then I simply pick you up and we go there together, what’s your address?” HER “Pick me up at the corner of xyz and zyx street at 8pm!” ME “Be on time, I really hate waiting.”

So what happened here was that I was foreshadowing about her and me going to a bar to talk about things and uncover her secret (turns out there was no secret - she was just not yet LA-lized, innocent in her behavior and not yet infused with our lifestyle and artificially inflated values here). I did not say “Maybe we should go out one day” but instead told her exactly what I want and when and where I want to have a date with her. She had time to think about it, picture us having wine while I try to uncover her secret. She had time seeing herself going on a date with me to a bar. Be as specific as you can about the when and where and why whenever you foreshadow - this is important. Do not give her an instructional manual, but let her know the time, place and what you want to do there so she can imagine the date before the date actually takes place. Nobody likes to buy a pig in a poke so let her know what she will be getting herself into. This does not only apply to your dates but also when you change location from one lounge or club to another, when you make plans with her as to how she has to behave when you run into her next time or when you want her to imagine how it will be when you undress her or having sex. If she can picture herself doing it, it is most likely that she will actually do with you whatever you have foreshadowed to her.

Here’s how you can get better at foreshadowing:

Be descriptive. Do not just say “let’s meet at the movies” but rather something like “I like to watch a movie at the theatre. I think those couple seats where you can be close to each other without having that armrest in between makes it so much more intimate. I always freak out on scary movies so I might want to hold onto you or squeeze your legs a bit when it gets too intense”. Instead of just saying you want to catch a movie, you have “verbally drawn a vivid picture” of what’s going to happen when you watch a movie with her and how this will look like. Therefore, your exercise is that you try from now on to be descriptive about the location of the date as well as the place itself - as much as possible. Think about it how you would draw a vivid picture if you would have to paint it. What would be in it? What stands out and what defines the moment? Paint those “verbal” pictures whenever you schedule a date or tell people where you will be at a certain time. Get used to these things as soon as possible and not only will people show up, but those who show up, know exactly what they are getting themselves into. Start now!