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Competition from other men is often a crippling issue in their attempts to gain a woman’s attention.

Let’s face it - if the girl is somewhat attractive, chances are that you’re not the only guy striving for her affections.

And the reality is - some guys just can’t HANDLE the idea of competition!

As soon as they see another guy talking to the girl they like, if he’s in any way better looking than they are, they’ll just GIVE UP.

Seriously. They will step aside and give the other guy all the time he needs to move in on their girl.

Either that, or the guy will get really jealous and insecure, and directly challenge the competition.

That’s far worse because it shows the girl exactly how insecure you are.

So what’s a guy to do?

Well, the first thing is to realize that there is NO SUCH THING as competition from other men.

This might sound strange to you, but hear me out…

You guys aren’t in a race for a gold metal here. When it comes to affections of the heart, there are no true winners. It is possible for a girl to be attracted to more than one man at the same time.

So in that sense, even if a new guy shows up, you’re not completely out in the cold.

Even so, you will NEED to keep some of the focus on you so you can create attraction.

In part two of this article, I’ll show you how to come out on top in this situation.

In part one I explained how interactions with other men usually happens, and how most men deal with it poorly.

What’s the right course of action then?

The key to dealing with other men moving in on your girl is LEADERSHIP. The ability to take control of the situation in a way that is not overbearing, needy, or insecure.

Doing things as simple as…

*Befriending the guy

*Taking control of the conversation

*Being more interesting than the guy

*Make her laugh

The key to all of this is that you want to take CONTROL of the interaction. From there you can direct it.

A woman will respond to you if you are the one who is in control.

So even if your “competition” is better looking, younger, richer, (or whatever) than you - it doesn’t matter! Because in the end, YOU’RE the one the girl will follow.

Keep in mind that the ability to build your social status, to help others have a good time, to be more fun, funny, and interesting than the next guy - these are all aspects of control.

These facets of your personality will give you the power to lead the social dynamic of any group you choose.

And when YOU are the leader, guess what?

THERE IS NO COMPETITION.

Every other guy around you is a follower. And girls, instinctually, are drawn to guys who are in charge.

If there’s one thing every single guy on the face of the planet has experienced at one time or another,it’s rejection.

Who hasn’t fallen for a girl, only to find out that she doesn’t feel the same way about you?

Indeed, rejection can be extremely painful to experience. It’s almost as if every time a girl gives you the brush off, she’s saying there’s something wrong with you!

And let’s face it - nobody likes to feel like they aren’t good enough.

Most men handle this in ways that only worsen the situation.

Normally they’ll run from it, or get angry over it.

When facing rejection, a common strategy, which is probably the WORST thing you can do, is this: go along with whatever she feels and deceive her into thinking you aren’t interested.

This usually leads to the “just being her friend” gambit, where the lovelorn man pretends to be the girl’s friend, just so he can somehow try and desperately salvage the situation.

But as we all know, this trick rarely, if ever, works.

So what are your options? Well, you could just walk away and look for a girl who is more open to you. Or, you can try and turn that rejection into attraction.

So say you don’t want to just walk away. Be ready for some hard work on your part.

We’ll get into this in part two.

One of the most challenging aspects of getting a girl interested in you is dealing with the competition you’ll get from other guys.

And it’s going to happen if she’s attractive. Other guys WILL be interested.

And the reality is - some guys just can’t HANDLE the idea of competition!

As soon as they see another guy talking to the girl they like, if he’s in any way better looking than they are, they’ll just GIVE UP.

Seriously. They will step aside and give the other guy all the time he needs to move in on their girl.

Either that, or the guy will get really jealous and insecure, and directly challenge the competition.

That’s far worse because it shows the girl exactly how insecure you are.

So what’s a guy to do?

Well, the first thing is to realize that there is NO SUCH THING as competition from other men.

This might sound strange to you, but hear me out…

You guys aren’t in a race for a gold metal here. When it comes to affections of the heart, there are no true winners. It is possible for a girl to be attracted to more than one man at the same time.

So in that sense, even if a new guy shows up, you’re not completely out in the cold.

Still, you’ll want to attempt to keep her focus on you so you can create attraction.

I’ll show you how to come out on top in this situation in part two of this article.

Generally, when someone says “dating”, that translates into “dinner and a movie.” Seems about right huh?

It’s a simple process - you go out and do things with her, to get to know her. Right?

Well, what if I told you that you had the completely WRONG idea about dating?

See, most guys use the concept of “going out” with a girl to mean that there is some romantic ulterior motive there, and that is not always the case.

Let’s go over some of the most common mistakes guys make when “dating” a girl…

Mistake #1: Guys use dates as opportunities to “Impress” women.

Lots of guys think they have something to prove on dates. They “have to get her to like me!” So they’ll try and take her to fancy places to show her a memorable time, and they’ll try and brag about themselves to come off as important.

Mistake #2: Men think they can use money to lure her in.

A sad truth is that a good portion of men today think that if you spend money on a woman, you buy the right to sleep with them. This is never a good way of thinking.

Most women don’t care how much you spend on them, except for the few gold diggers running around out there.

Mistake #3: Activities Mean Nothing!

Just the sheer act of going out to places with somebody doesn’t mean as much as you think it does. If you do the typical “dinner and a movie” thing, that won’t necessarily get the girl to like you. Spending time together does not always equate to romanic interest.

Mistake #4: Guys can become BORING!

Nothing is worse than going out on a date where there is no spark or chemistry. Some guys get so nervous on dates, that they sabotage themselves by being a boring dud. They talk about mundane things, display little or no personality, and just go through the motions hoping not to screw anything up.

Mistake #5: Guys follow a pattern of failure.

Finally, many men get a certain idea about dating in their heads - how things are supposed to be - and they follow that rigidly.

They take every girl they go out with to the same places, ask the same questions, and where does that lead to? A stale date. No spontaneity, no fun. Just boring.

Let’s take a look at a better approach in part two of this article.

From what I wrote in part one of this article, it’s probably pretty clear how most guys think the wrong way about dating. Let’s look at the right way!

So what does it mean to date a woman?

Simple: Dating is the process of building comfort, strengthening emotional connections, and building attraction!

See, it doesn’t matter where you go, or how much money you spend. All that matters is how you’re able to connect to the woman you’re with and what you can make her feel about you.

That is why so many guys can take a girl on a cheap date and sweep her off her feet, and other guys can drop thousands of dollars on really creative dates and get NOWHERE.

Your entire focus while dating a girl should be “how can I become more emotionally connected to this girl?”

Find out what interests you share. What passions do you have? What are her hopes and dreams? These are the things you need to know.

Refrain from the mundane type of questioning like “what music do you like?” Instead, ask something that will really peak her interest like “If you could do anything you wanted, and weren’t bound by the laws of space and time, what would you do?” That should spur conversation and be thought provoking!

And most of all to do: HAVE SOME FUN!

Crack jokes - even if they’re not good. Have fun. Steer the conversation toward subjects she finds interesting. Be curious about who she is.

But most importantly, don’t shy away from the idea of love making!

Most guys won’t, but they aren’t successful either. And you need to do this to build up some tension, because without it, there is little chance of attraction.

Make jokes about it, and flirt. Show a bit of a bad boy side to you. She’ll appreciate it, and if you don’t, you probably won’t make it to the next level.

Quick question - how many times have you fallen for a girl, only to be stuck in the dreaded “friends zone?”

It appears that she’s into you, and you seem to have some solid rapport going. Everything points to her being interested.

But then, when you make your move, she looks surprised and lays the line on you:

“Let’s just be friends.”

From there, you’re confused, frustrated, and most of all - you feel like you somehow blew your shot.

Oddly enough, this happens all the time - even to “good looking” guys.

And most guys have NO IDEA why this happens!

So what causes a girl to want to be “just friends?”

There is a HUGE reason actually. Most men do absolutely nothing to separate themselves from regular guys as to potential lovers.

In short: They lack the ability to “attract” the girl physically.

They play it safe. They never say anything off color. They never flirt. They never try and be anything but “friendly” to the girl.

And then they wonder why they get stuck as the friend.

Understand - from the moment you meet a girl, you must display that you’re interested in her as more than “just friends” .

Read part two - I’ll show you how to do this without spooking her.

In part one I mentioned a sort of ‘tension’. What is it, and what does it have to do with seduction? Keep on reading below!

Overall, the process of seduction is about amplifying the feelings you’ve created. Desire and arousal are what you are going for, and if you can really provoke these emotions in her, you’ll have her wanting to release this tension.

So I create this tension in a woman, but how?

Well, there are various methods on how to do this. A lot of them are quite advanced (and very effective), but for the purposes of this article, I’m going to keep things simple.

The first thing you must do in seduction is to lay the groundwork for tension. This comes in the form of “playful teasing.”

Think of how you would tease a friend or a sibling. It would be good-natured teasing, am I right? But in this situation, we want to add a sexual element to the equation.

So for instance, if you’re with a girl on a date, and you order a drink, you could say “So if I have a few drinks, you’re not going to take advantage of me and just use me for getting some, are you?”

This is a fun and playful way of teasing the girl about wanting to sleep with you, WITHOUT coming off as creepy or blatant.

It’s important to do, too. We want the woman thinking about hopping in the sack. Because once you get her thinking about it, she’ll wonder what it is like to sleep with you!

Once you start with the teasing - don’t overdo it! Just throw in one of these quips every now and then.

When you get past that stage, try touching her in an effort to amp up the physical tension between you two. Note I said touch, not grope.

So touching her on her hand, her wrist, her leg, thigh, lower back, and elbow can go a long way to establishing those feelings of connection. You can do this at any point while talking to her. You can even try and get closer to her while you are talking. Proximity is important as well.

Now its time to amp up your body language. Let her know, with your eyes, that you’re feeling attraction for her - but never say it and keep playing coy.

This is called sending “mixed signals.” She thinks you’re into her, but there is a measure of doubt, which really amps up the tension. Before long, she’ll want to find out for sure if you’re into her or not.

Next, it’s time to move towards more obvious forms of of discussion. Begin asking her about her fantasies. Try to figure out what turns her on. Keep teasing her and touching her as she talks about what she enjoys.

Finally, it’s time to get physical. At some point, you’re going to have to make your move, because the physical sensation of kissing and being petted will really start to amp up those feelings of desire she’s experiencing.

From there, you must take it upon yourself to lead her towards doing what you want. For instance, taking her by the hand and pulling her towards the bedroom.

Remember this, as you don’t want to be stuck just kissing. You shouldn’t put the pressure on her to move things along. Do it yourself.

Do all the above and guess what? You can seduce and girl you might come across, with little trouble.

This is the second article in this series on flirting.

Last article I wrote about how to use your eyes to flirt; in this one, I’ll show you the role of personal proximity in flirting, and just how important it can be.

So you’ve done the silent dance that takes place with her eyes and yours. She’s sent signals indicating she’s interested, and it’s time to move in.

So you move in, and immediately you start to wonder… “how close should I stand?”

That’s a good question.

The general answer is, to start: about 4 feet.

Why four feet?

It varies by country, but in North America, it’s that distance. That’s about 2 small steps. If you get closer too soon, you might notice she’ll get uncomfortable if you pay attention.

As I mentioned above, that’s North America. In Latin America and the Mediterranean, the distance starts closer, and in Northern Europe and England, it’s a bit further away.

Try it out next time you engage a woman. Get too close and she might get flustered, and too far away she might think you are disinterested. Watch the body language, and teach yourself to pay attention to it.

Eventually, however, you will move closer together. When is it time to do so? It’s whenever you start gaining a verbal rapport. She’ll loosen up, be playful, and you can start in with touching her. I always recommend paying attention to her body language.

The key is to see if she becomes more inviting. It will be obvious when she does, IF you are paying attention to the signs she’s giving you, and being objective about it. I’ll get more into body language at a later date, but I encourage you, in the meantime, to watch it closely, not only in your encounters, but the successful encounters you see out in the real world.

So what happens when you get too close? Again, the body language, along with her demeanor, will make this apparent. For example, if she folds her arms or legs, tightly, while facing your direction, that’s a really good warning sign.

If that happens, back off a bit. Take a half step back, straighten your posture, and watch how she reacts to you. She might loosen up a bit, and at that time, continue with the flirting, but ease into it.

Sometimes, when you get too close, she can become completely spooked. She’ll want to get away. If that happens, don’t worry, just chalk it up as a loss and move on to the next woman. It’s all part of the learning process.

Are there exceptions to the four foot rule? Absolutely. The first one has to do with location. If you are in a tightly packed bar, you can stand closer generally, as personal space has shrunk for everyone.

Other exceptions include alcohol usage (people’s personal space shrinks while drinking.), and the person’s social nature. An extrovert will have less issue with someone coming too close than an introvert. Just watch for the signs.

Work with the concept to see if you can get the hang of it. Once you do, you’ll be a better flirt!

In part of the series, I’ll cover how your POSTURE can make a HUGE impact on your success with women!

Most people don’t realize that their posture is bad, and that it becomes worse around the opposite gender.

Our posture, and the rest of our body language, can betray us even if we’ve done a great job controlling the emotions that we show with our faces.

The good news is, we can learn to spot, control, and even use your postural language in your favor!

Take a good look at your physical posture when speaking to a woman you are attracted to. Overall, if you are displaying that you are displaying tension, nervousness, or poor self esteem, it will come through.

She’ll notice this as well. And often, she’ll mirror it. What we display to others, they will reflect right back.

That’s good news! If you put some positive, strong body language out there, and display a confident posture, it will help her feel more comfortable, and she’ll find your company far more enjoyable too!

Still, she may not be open. To know if she is, here are a few signs to look for:

-Watch which way her body is turned. Is it towards you? That’s good; if it’s to the side, take a hard look to see if she’s preoccupied. This includes feet too - generally they lead, in fact.

-Which way is she leaning? If it’s backwards, and she seems distracted, that’s not a good sign. On the other hand, if she’s leaning forward, and can’t keep her eyes off you, then you are doing well.

-Is she posturally ‘open’ or ‘closed’? If open, she’ll have her arms unfolded, possibly leaning towards you, and legs won’t be crossed. If closed, it’s the opposite; arms folded, legs crossed, leaning back. You’ll want the former to be true.

-The good signs you want to focus on are: leaning forward, undistracted focus, and her head slightly tilted to a side. If these are happening, you are probably doing well.

Those are good indicators to see where her interest is. There are a few that are even better though, but they aren’t specific.

If she is “mirroring” you posturally, this is really GOOD. It shows a congruence between you and her; If you lead, she’ll probably follow. And don’t be surprised if you find yourself following her lead too.

What does this look like then?

You’ll have the same side of each other moving towards the other- so if you have your right shoulder forward, she’ll have her left, and vice versa.

This is a tremendous advantage to you - you can mirror her, without her knowing it, and she’ll see you more positively than if you didn’t!

There are also gender specific gestures that are common. Watch for her. Odds are, if you are comfortable, you’ll do these naturally, so don’t worry about yours in particular.

For her, watch for her trying to heighten the display of gender specific features, such as arching her back to show her breasts, or crossing and uncrossing her legs to show them.

The main idea is to pay attention and look for these signs. They will help you, trust me.

Coming up in the next part, I’ll write about how your gestures effect your success with girls!